Cooking With Baka Ojisan

yura yura yurara yureteru boku wa tsuna wo wataru me wo tojite

(BUCK-TICK. "Thight Rope." COSMOS. Victor, 1996)

It's time for Cooking With Baka Ojisan!

What we're going to need is 1 lb chicken, 1 fist sized potato, 2 carrots, and a 12 pack of Fat Tire Ale!

What a lousy day at work.  I'm not going to get into it, just accept that the day sucked!

Time to unwind with a little cooking.  Tonight is curry night!  Normally I prefer Thai panang curry, but the housemated bitch if I don't make Japanese golden curry.  I've had enough whining and bitching today, so I'll make that.  To be honest, it's easier.

A long time ago I got into the habbit of shoping daily for my dinner.  Even now I still prefer it.  It also helps that one of the housemates takes up most of the freezer with TV dinners and Otter Pops (Which I tend to eat most of...).  So, home from the store.  I drop the grocery bag off on the kitchen counter and unpack the most important part: The ale!  A quick stop by the computer next to the kitchen to fire up the media player, fire up Amarok and que up BUCK-TICK's 1990 album Aku no Hana (an album that helped me survive my father's (better late than never) memorial service and the national cemetary.  (Ok, it was actually the train ride to and from.))  Time to start shoving as many bottles into the fridge as I can while blasting National Media Boys.  Open the bottle that won't fit.

Since there's no rush to get dinner done, I step out on the deck for a cigarette and a beer.  The window is open so the music can be heared.  Excellent!  But it's too loud.  Never mind that it's the summer time and not even 1730, the neighbours will bitch.  I turn down the stereo, but continue to sing along despite not actually understanding Japanese.

By the time This World is Yours starts I've finished my beer.  Time to start prep work.

I open a beer and get to the veg.  I don't peel the potato.  There's hardly anything for a skin on red potatoes, so I just scrub it and the carrots.  I cut them up and put them into a bowl.  I then wash my hands and start cutting up the chicken breasts into bit sized pieces.  These I leave on the cutting board.

By this time the album is about over, so I que up the Alice in Wonder Underground single with the B side (are there B sides on CDs?) featuring a re-make of Tightrope.  I've also finished my beer, so I open another and head out to the patio right as Alice in Wonder Underground starts.

About this time I realize that the beer is hitting faster and harder than normal.  I realize I'd skipped lunch.  I realize I'm doing that silly dance Imai does in the video.  I realize my neighbour is doing a Mister Wilson at the fence.  I bow to him.  He walks off.  I head back in to start things.

I take 3 cups of water into my small cast iron pot and add a teaspoon of hon dashi and turn on low heat.  In the frying pan I put in some soy oil and set it on low heat.  I open another beer and head out to the porch.

Tightrope starts.  It's a studio version of the version they've prefomed live.  It's a great song, but it reminds me of someone no longer in my life.  They were once my life, but I doubt they knew it.  Why did I look for an English translation of this song?  Why was I such an idiot?  Why did I let them go?  Why did I never tell them how I felt?  Why did I never feel good enough for them?  Why didn't I put on the rice?  

SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!

Switch the Hudson Hawk Time to Tenshi no Revolver.

One of my housemates has a small rice cooker.  Mine is too damn big.  The smallest batch mine can make is twice as much as we need, so it's been up in a cupboard after about the third time I used it.  I scoop two measuring cups of rice into the cooker and run warm water into the pot.  I swirl the water around until it starts to turn white and dump it out.  Run more water into it and start pressing down on the rice to clean it.  It's important to clean the rice before cooking.  It's even more important to not use soap.  I can't stess this enough:  Do not use soap to clean your rice!  Seriously, you will NEVER get the taset of Dawn out of it!

After the rice is cleaned put the pot back into the cooker and turn it on.  By this point the dashi's about to temp.  I up the temp on the frying pan, crank the tunes and dance around the kitchen like a maniac.  When Lilly starts it's time to drop in the chicken.  I stir fry the ckicken in the hot oil using the song as the timer.

Furimuku na     tonde ikeru     kimi ga azayaka     gogo no sora

Koko ga towa

Furimuku na     tonde ikeru     kimi ga supiido     gogo no sora

Koko ga towa

Once la Vie en Rose starts, I up the heat on the dashi and dump in the veg into the pan with the chicken and do some more stir frying.  And air guitarring.  Lots of this.  When Cream Soda starts, it's time to pour the dashi into the pan.  Once we're up to a boil, turn down the heat and drop in the curry sauce block things and stir.  Stir some more.  When this annoying song that makes me laugh my butt of ends, put the lid on the pan.  Open another beer and head out on the porch.

Nukumori ni     yasashisa ni     iradachi se wo mukete wa

Hitotsu     futatsu     mittsu     namida koboreta

Ok, at this point, there isn't much more to do.  In between each song check the curry and give it a stir.  If the potatoes want to stick to the bottom, turn down the heat and keep stiring.

By the time Spider ends, the curry should be done.  unfortunatly, the rice isn't.  This isn't such a bad thing, as it lets you listen to Alice in Wonder Underground again.  And finish your beer.  Listen to Revolver and open another beer.

The rice is done.  Itadakimas!

I like to spread the rice out over half the plate and pour soy sauce over it, then the curry.  Then more soy sauce.  Oh, and more beer.  It makes whatever Rutger Hauer movie we're going to watch easier to take.

Well, that's all for now.
Maybe I'll try pork katsu next.